Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Being a Mother

Sometimes when I look at a picture of all three of my boys it hits me so hard that they are all mine. Its such a surreal moment, taking it all.  I created them and they are mine,  and I am their mom. Part of me wants to believe that its just pretend that I'm still not a mom, but the other part knows that all those years, all those hard but very, very good earn years are mine, and they are the ones that call me mom.
Motherhood is so complex and so wonderful. It brings me to my knees, brings more tears than I could imagine. It breaks my heart, and leave me with loneliness and doubt. But above all true happiness outweighs the negative. Because motherhood brings me my greatest adventures, its brings me my biggest blessings,  it gives me heartache and loneliness worth living for.

There is no other calling I would rather have than to be a mom. And I want my boys to know how much they are loved. How much I wanted them here, and the undeniable joy they have brought into my life. How they are my walking, real life dream.

Shelby and Brandon
Shelby and Brandon
Shelby and Brandon
Shelby and Brandon
Shelby and Brandon
And through all the physical draining days, (Like this picture of them none stop going! Ha) I want to remember how much I loved it.
Shelby and Brandon
Shelby and Brandon
Shelby and Brandon
Shelby and Brandon
The dancing to their own music, the music that is in them from birth. Every single one of them have a natural beat and it makes my heart soar.
Shelby and Brandon
Shelby and Brandon
Shelby and Brandon
Shelby and Brandon
Shelby and Brandon
Shelby and Brandon
Shelby and Brandon
The darling sweaters on the little boys are from VONBON When I showed Tayte his Stallion Shirt he would not stop smiling (he absolutely 'wubs horsies'. And has worn it almost everyday since. And Daxton kept saying how soft his scarf + hat is and I'll have you know he is very picky about the scarfs and hats he wears. ha! it must stem from the time I made him wear a wool scarf and it was so itchy, he cried the whole time it was on. whoops.
Shelby and Brandon
One of my favorite talks on motherhood is called Behold Thy Mother. It makes me cry every time I listen to it. And I'll end with one of my favorite quotes.  "To all mothers in every circumstance, including those who struggle—and all will—I say, “Be peaceful. Believe in God and yourself. You are doing better than you think you are. In fact, you are saviors on Mount Zion,13 and like the Master you follow, your love ‘never faileth."- Elder Holland

6 comments:

Jennifer Wilson said...

Such a gorgeous post, Shelby! Motherhood is such a powerful experience, one that can make you cry tears of joy and sadness at the same time.
Your honestly is so beautiful and it shines brightly through each one of your boys. It was pure delight to see them enjoying life in our clothing. I hope they wear them thin with their many exciting adventures ahead.
Big Hugs,
Jen XO

Lois Light said...

Absolutely beautiful pictures and wonderful family x

donnyfan said...

Love your photos! Thanks for sharing them! I was following you on instagram but I think you blocked me. Sorry if I did something to offend you. I enjoyed your photos on there. If you didnt block me then
something is wrong with your account. It wont let me follow you. My instagram name is donnyfan

marcia hansen said...

Man you always find the best places to take pictures. Love the quote and your cute smiles. Cutest family ever!

Melinda said...

Loved this post Shelby! And that quote at the end is one of my favorites too. It was so good to see you the day after Christmas and I love all these adorable pictures of your handsome little boys. You are such an amazing mother!

Love ya!

RosieLart said...

you are so pretty OMG!i like the photos and your article about how its like being a mother, motherhood life/ is vry hard i agree!but that what we do!